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    Party Advice

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly…
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    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences…
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    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
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    Hmmmm... Ham Sandwich

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce…
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    Car Trip

    Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Namesake Care

    While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier…
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    Women Drivers

    *Women Drivers* (Don't judge a joke by it's title)Driving to town this morning on the…
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    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
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    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    First Grade Proverbs

    A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class…
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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Kettle Rescue

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"  

The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out.  

This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house!  

As the thief was about to flee the man said, "Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife."  

Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, "Why would you want ME to meet your wife?"  

The man replied, "She's been expecting you for 20 years."
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