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  • rifle range

    Rifle Tech Support

    It was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military…
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    Kissing Son

    I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and…
  • teapot

    Tea For Two

    Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed…
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    Fee Surprise

    Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once…
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    Workplace Insanity

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
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    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
  • picture of shopping cart

    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
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    Not-So-Bright People

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
  • cards

    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"  

The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out.  

This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house!  

As the thief was about to flee the man said, "Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife."  

Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, "Why would you want ME to meet your wife?"  

The man replied, "She's been expecting you for 20 years."
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