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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…
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    Anyone Home?

    A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was…
  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
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    Wedding Tears

    During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Three Legged Chicken

    A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a three legged chicken. He was…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 2

    Computer One-liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    More Bad Headlines

    ~ March Planned For Next August ~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See ~ Lingerie Shipment…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Information Assistance

    "Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One…
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    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of "yes/no"…
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    $0.00

    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his…
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    Golf Cheater

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…

An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses.

"Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death."

"What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge.

"Nuns with scissors."

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