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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the…
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    Ancestry

    The following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party."My ancestry goes back all…
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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
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    Husband Chair Feedback

    A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies'…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Teenaged Daughter Owner's Manual

    Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are…
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    French Dream

    A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class.To encourage him, his teacher said,…
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    104 Year Best

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing…
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    Get the Picture

    Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the studio to view the…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
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    Beautiful Name Tag

    Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful." "Is that really…
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    Tips For The Clueless

    Some Tips for the Clueless If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by…
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    Road Crew Signs

    While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.To…
1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Beige Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil.

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.
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