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    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
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    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Kids View of Science

    *Kid's View of Science*Q: What is one horsepower?A: One horsepower is the amount of…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
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    Ashes

    Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    Crossing Chicken

    Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to…
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    Principal Rounds

    It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible…
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    Fatherly Chat

    A young woman brings home her fiancĂ© to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    Medical Alert

    A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what…
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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Beige Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil.

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.
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