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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Missing Church

    Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Conductor Comment Comeback

    A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy…
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    Professor Turns Plumber

    A professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home leaked. He called a…
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    Charity Better than Expected

    Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Namesake Care

    While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier…
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    Internet Cleaning

    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to…
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    Drug Shirt

    My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
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    Hospital Forms

    In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Beige Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil.

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.

12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.
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