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More Jokes

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    Homework Policy

    Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than…
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    George W. meets Moses

    George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    Pants Dilemma

    A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Time Travel

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Wedding Cake Verse

    A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding…
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    Prescription Fail

    A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to…
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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Check that Address!

    Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He…
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    Help Is Nearby

    My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic…
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    Business Exhaustion

    The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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