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More Jokes

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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    Gate Boarding

    At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement…
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    Late For Class

    At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was…
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    Army Arrival

    My youngest brother, Tony had just completed Army basic training and was on leave prior…
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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Guard Dog Sniff

    My boyfriend, Tim, a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard…
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    Reversal of Fortune

    Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you…
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    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
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    Military Intials

    When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary…
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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Congratulations "Good" News!

    * The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. * They say the house didn't float…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Workplace Insanity

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace…
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    Tree Faller

    While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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