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More Jokes

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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
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    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
  • Dog Waits for Owner

    Missing You

    Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the…
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    Legal Contracts

    The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, "If you were to…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Random Jokes

    Want another random joke? Simply refresh this page or click here. Want another another…
  • movie seats

    Movie Critic

    I overheard two children discussing their selection in the video area of a store. One boy…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Get-Well Gift

    My wife coordinates get-well gifts for our church members who are in the hospital.…
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    Van Gogh Family Tree

    After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had…
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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Tip Revenge

    A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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