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More Jokes

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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    Robber Visit

    A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is…
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    Professionalism Test

    Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is…
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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    Hooked Shot

    Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club and hooked his shot…
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    You Might be a Pastor If...

    ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Changing Plates

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Extra Fudge

    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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