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More Jokes

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    More Bulletin Bloopers

    *More Bulletin Bloopers*The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug…
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    Last One Comeback

    A widow, recently married to a widower, was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked,…
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    Name The Twins

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.…
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    Parking Concern

    While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.As I was lying…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Ecumenical Small Talk

    My Protestant clergy friend was speaking with a Catholic priest and wanted to make a…
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    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Comedians' Convention

    Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out…
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    Tax Reform

    At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which…
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    Riding Dead Horses

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
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    More Church Bulletin Humor

    *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline:I. Delineate your fearII. Disown your…
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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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