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More Jokes

  • lemon

    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
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    A Texas Blessing

    *A Texas Blessing*Bless this house, oh Lord, we cryPlease keep it cool in mid-July. Bless…
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    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
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    Cat Sale

    A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping…
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    Allergy Medicine

    During a revival, the visiting evangelist arrived without his allergy medicine. Our…
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    Tough Kids

    Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…
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    Border problem

    An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota…
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    Rest Stop

    I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a…
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    Sticking Out

    At our daughter's high school graduation, I couldn't help noticing a young man sporting a…
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    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
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    Crowded Bus

    It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my…

Rules for Laboratory Workers

1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.

3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.

4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.

5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.

6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

7. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.

9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.

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