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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Sore Knee

    Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so…
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    Tail Light

    "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The…
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    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Seen Signs

    These signs might not communicate what was hoped for. On a California freeway: Fine for…
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    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Just Like Mother

    Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
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    Age Question

    A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New…
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    49 Cards

    A friend of ours waited until the last minute to send Christmas cards. She knew she had…
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    Pot-bellied Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…

Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods.

A huge brown bear suddenly appeared in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear spots the campers and begins to head toward them.

Joe drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

His buddy Jack says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear."

"I don't need to outrun the bear," Joe says. "I just need to outrun you."

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