logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Top Ten Signs Your Co-worker is a Computer Hacker

    10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.9. He's won the…
  • Default Image

    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • picture of shopping cart

    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
  • Default Image

    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
  • Default Image

    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
  • Default Image

    Leak Repair

    My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending…
  • Default Image

    Police Rescue

    I remember the day when a police car pulled up to Grandma's house and Grandpa got out.…
  • Default Image

    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
  • Default Image

    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
  • Default Image

    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…
  • Default Image

    Public Servant Sentence

    "Write a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote, "The…
  • Default Image

    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
  • Default Image

    Flower Oil

    When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a…
  • Default Image

    Midterm Exam

    The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of…
  • computer keyboard

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…

Thoughts on Growing Old

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.  I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ Don't worry about avoiding temptation.  As you grow older, it will avoid you.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

Powered By JFBConnect