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    Robber Visit

    A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is…
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    Virus Warning!

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    Watery Deal

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    Test Results Good News

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    Keyboard Switch

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    Confession

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    Lost Pigs

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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
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    Police Rescue

    I remember the day when a police car pulled up to Grandma's house and Grandpa got out.…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…

Thoughts on Growing Old

~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.  But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

~ There are three signs of old age.  The first is your loss of memory.  I forget the other two.

~ You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

~ Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work.

~ Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man.  Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?

~ You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~ Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

~ By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

~ Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

~ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

~ You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~ Don't worry about avoiding temptation.  As you grow older, it will avoid you.

~ The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

~ You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

~ You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

~ The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

~ Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~ It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

~ You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

~ Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

~ When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

~ You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can't remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

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