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    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
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    Swahili Gasp

    A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Signs You Need a New Pizza Place

    ~ The pizza's secrets ingredient is still moving. ~ The delivery kid is packing. ~ This…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    Army Arrival

    My youngest brother, Tony had just completed Army basic training and was on leave prior…
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    More Church Bulletin Humor

    *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline:I. Delineate your fearII. Disown your…
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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

    The turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air,it knocked every plate off the…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Something For Mom

    The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old…
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    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
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    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school.

He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, lieutenant?" I asked.

He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."

I asked, "What's the difference?"

He replied, "That means I'm scared, but with a university education."

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