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More Jokes

  • car old

    Car Ads

    If the car ad claims these items, it really means: - rough condition = too bad to lie…
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    When I Was Your Age

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Hybrid Car

    My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
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    D.C. Flyover

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    A Dollar Per Point

    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Golf Survey

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Baseball Class

    A profesor at the University of Pennsylvania was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Window Seats

    At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both…
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    Seniors' Special

    We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon,…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
  • picture of elderly couple

    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…

Responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

- Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

- Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

- Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

- A monsoon is a French gentleman.

- The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

- To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

- When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

- For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

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