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More Jokes

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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
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    Light Bulb List Members

    Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: 1,331:1…
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    Who's On First - Computer Version

    *Who's On First - Computer Version*ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help…
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    Bus Fare

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
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    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
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    Yes, We Have No Chocolate

    A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice…
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    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…

Responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

- Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

- Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

- Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

- A monsoon is a French gentleman.

- The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

- To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

- When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

- For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

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