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    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
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    Free to Go

    Jon and Amanpreet were in an institution. This place had an annual contest where they…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    Drug Shirt

    My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to…
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    Miracle Toddler Diet

    Miracle Toddler DietLosing weight is the number New Year's Resolution.The problem is,…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
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    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Sayings About Aging

    Thoughts on Growing Old ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else…

Responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:

- There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

- Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

- Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

- The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

- Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

- Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

- Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

- A monsoon is a French gentleman.

- The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

- To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

- When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

- For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

- Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

- One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

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