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    Muffin Moving

    After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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    Great Writing

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great…
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    Voting Tips

    A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Dog Review

    A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and…
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    Lawyer Son

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
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    Open Mouth, Insert Foot

    At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with…
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    Emergency Visit

    A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.She…
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    New Year's Football vs. Dinner

    As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Oriskany Falls

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…
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    Sidewalk Preacher

    A sidewalk preacher stood on a soapbox downtown and started a rousing sermon on…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…

~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.

~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

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