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    Steamed Goober

    Back in the good old days of steam engines, a goober who had spent his whole life in the…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Bungee Jumping

    Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the…
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    Heat Wave Humor

    Nothing personal against Texans - change it to any place that is hot. "It's So Hot In…
  • A young boy watches his dad help birth a calf.

    Calf Birth

    A man was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing…
  • picture of a hang glider

    Zeek's Hang Glider

    In the back woods of Gooberland, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek,…
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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
  • picture of old lady

    Granny's Visit

    Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug.…
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    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
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    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
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    House Call

    Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house.…
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    10 Easy Ways To Say No

    I'd love to, but...1 I have to floss my cat.2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.3 I want…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…

~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.

~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

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