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More Jokes

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    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
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    Modern Potty Training

    Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little…
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    Houdini Wannabe

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Workplace Insanity

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace…
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    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
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    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…
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    Puzzled Border Guard

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…
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    Military Computer Manners

    The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…

~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.

~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

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