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More Jokes

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    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…
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    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…
  • great dane

    A Dog Named Bear

    Friends of ours owned a huge Great Dane named "Bear." He looked menacing but was actually…
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    Who's the Boss?

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any…
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    Jumper

    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
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    Dog Report

    Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    Coffee For Grandma

    A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee.…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
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    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…

~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

~ Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

~ Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

~ Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

~ Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

~ The moon is a planet, just like the earth, only it is even deader.

~ Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

~ Mushrooms always grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

~ The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

~ The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

~ A permanent set of teeth consist of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.

~ The tides are a fight between the earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

~ A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

~ Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

~ Liter: A nest of young puppies.

~ Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

~ Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

~ Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

~ Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

~ Vacuum: A large, empty space where the Pope lives.

~ Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

~ To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

~ For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

~ For dog bite put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

~ For head cold use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

~ To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

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