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  • shopping

    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
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    Tips From Cowboys

    ~ Never squat with your spurs on!~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.~ There's two…
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    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Survivalist Training

    A Scoutmaster was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the Alaskan wilderness. "What…
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    Rich Uncle

    Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancĂ©e about my…
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    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
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    Cookie Calories

    A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In…
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    Whispering In Church

    A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I…
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    Eating Worms

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
  • university building

    Evaluation Excerpts

    These are actual excerpts from college course evaluation forms: 1. "The textbook is…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    Pain Management

    My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain…

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just got home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply "It's after seven o'clock!"

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