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    Moving Label

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    Marry An Actor

    An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand…
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    Teenaged Daughter Owner's Manual

    Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or daughters who think they are…
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    Lesser Known Laws

    Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    Read Carefully

    My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the…
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    Government Solution

    Thought you might and others might enjoy what happened to me (Tina and Tim Saltsman) the…
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    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…
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    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
  • donut

    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
  • cards

    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
  • bear

    I Want To Be A Bear

    I want to be a bear...... If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but…

These signs might not communicate what was hoped for.

On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

In a New York jewellery store:
Genuine Fauz Pearls

In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken lenses duplicated here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended

On a Rapid City store:
Give That Bride a Good Case of Worms or Other Fine Bait

On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur

In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken

In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here

On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books

On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honouring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library

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