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More Jokes

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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Getting To Heaven

    The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to…
  • veterinarian

    Lock Jaw

    In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian.…
  • post it_notes

    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
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    FROLIC Memo

    To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Missing The Obvious

    One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy…
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    Signs You Need A New Lawyer

    1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his…
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    Theory Testing Contest

    *Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest* HONOURABLE MENTION: The quantity of…
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    Work Prayer

    Confiding in a co-worker, I told her about a problem in our office and my fear that I…
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    Jogging Time

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He…
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    Vow Changes

    Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years…
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    Goober Farmers

    There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by the Forman…

These signs might not communicate what was hoped for.

On a California freeway:
Fine for Littering

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:
Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

In a New York jewellery store:
Genuine Fauz Pearls

In a Kansas City oculist's office:
Broken lenses duplicated here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot:
Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway:
If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York:
In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and minimart:
We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:
Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended

On a Rapid City store:
Give That Bride a Good Case of Worms or Other Fine Bait

On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:
The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur

In a Grand Rapids restaurant:
Half baked chicken

In a Dayton barbershop:
During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here

On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:
Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books

On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honouring Robert Frost:
Frost Free Library

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