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More Jokes

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    Good Guess

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…
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    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
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    Silly Q&A

    Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue YouForget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
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    Wedding Speech

    Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
  • computer keyboard

    I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form

    *I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form* 1. Describe your problem:…
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    Prison Riot

    The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like…
  • car old

    You Need A New Car When

    You need a new car when ... - You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops…
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    Anyone Home?

    A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was…

*Self-Evident Truths About Pets*

* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

* Dogs shed, cats shred.

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

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