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More Jokes

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    Science Fair Responses

    Responses to questions on 5th and 6th grade science tests:- There are 26 vitamins in all,…
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    When One Shows Up

    A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there.…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Number Eighteen

    A first time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Farewell Song

    There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a…
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    Safe Keeping

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Possessed Computer?

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
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    Naturally Born

    An eighth grade teacher was leading a discussion on the qualifications for being…
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    Ice Cream Flavors

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…

*Self-Evident Truths About Pets*

* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

* Dogs shed, cats shred.

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

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