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More Jokes

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    Flying Follies

    Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline…
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    Bad Day Sign

    You know it's going to be a bad day when your teenager knocks on your bedroom door first…
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    Vacation Offer

    A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months…
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    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
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    Intelligence

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Picture of Hong Kong Skyline

    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
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    Shaking Hands

    "Doctor, you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!" "Do you drink…
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    Math Symbols

    While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and…
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    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    For Sale Sign

    A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming…
  • A list of 17 points to ponder about life.

    Stuff to Ponder

    1. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you…
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    Riding With Grandma

    One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Movie Breakout

    A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he…
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    Perfect Spouse

    A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse.…

*Self-Evident Truths About Pets*

* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

* Dogs shed, cats shred.

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

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