* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

* Dogs shed, cats shred.

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.