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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…
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    Finkel's Fine

    A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, Hello, darling, I'd like to talk…
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    School Curlers

    ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
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    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Letter From Tooth Fairy

    Dear _________________ : Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
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    Raise Request

    Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want…
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    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280.
Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car.  It's hundreds of them!"

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