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    Payment Plan

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.Pete said…
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    Accents

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    New Home No Hears

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    How To Photograph A New Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw…
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    Now, Now Ellen

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    Matching Shoes

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    Fearless Leader

    As a professor at Texas A & M, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would…
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    Long Living

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
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    Baby Talk

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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Label Warning

    My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality.The accompanying cutting board,…
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    Waiting at the Door

    I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me.…
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    Dog Employee

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…

Shakey went to a psychiatrist.  "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble.  Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it.  I get under the bed, I think there`s somebody on top of it.  Top, under, top, under.  .  .  you gotta help me, I`m going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink.  "Come to me three times a week, and I`ll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I`ll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street.  "Why didn`t you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit?  A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so!  How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

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