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    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…
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    Dressing The Kids

    The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Name Warning

    On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver."Not only have…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Ticket Excuse

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Food, Family and Philosophy

    Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Smile For the DMV

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was…
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    Suffering Vanity

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Cancelling Cards

    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to…
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    Oil Spill

    After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…

Shakey went to a psychiatrist.  "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble.  Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it.  I get under the bed, I think there`s somebody on top of it.  Top, under, top, under.  .  .  you gotta help me, I`m going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink.  "Come to me three times a week, and I`ll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I`ll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street.  "Why didn`t you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit?  A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so!  How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

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