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More Jokes

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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Fan Help

    Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who helped me with chores around…
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    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    Chair Test

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Missing Church

    Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they…
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    Grizzly Bears

    Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on…
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    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
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    Turkey Hotline

    TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
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    Wet Clothes

    Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her…
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    Hawaii Pronunciation

    Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument. "It's…
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    What A Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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