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More Jokes

  • picture of project documents

    Dictionary of Project Terms

    *Dictionary of Project Terms* Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen…
  • Picture of a student pilot

    Tips For Student Pilots

    Tips for student pilots. 1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. 2. If you push…
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    Your Turn

    A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried…
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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    Food, Family and Philosophy

    Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    A Letter From College

    A Letter from College:Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and…
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    One Liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

    (17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up". (16) If you do…
  • Picture of Newspaper

    Good News

    *Good News* The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. They say the house…
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    Red, Yellow, Blue

    One afternoon, this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    ~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.~ Santa…
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    Car Cow Sale

    A farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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