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More Jokes

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    Movie Breakout

    A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he…
  • baseball1

    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
  • picture of pretzel

    Pretzel Charity

    A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young…
  • washing machine

    Laundry Husband

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    2 Words

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
  • frog love

    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work

    Tell Tale Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work...- You've read the entire Dilbert…
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    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
  • jeans

    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
  • picture of seeing eye dog

    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
  • shopping

    2 Requests

    An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final…
  • rock

    Ahh, Tourists

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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