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More Jokes

  • antique gas pumps

    Looking Funny

    According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money…
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    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
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    Good News Dewey

    Olga phoned her husband, Dewey, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Dewey, "but…
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    Drum Sounds

    A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty…
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    Redecorating Help

    A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of…
  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
  • doctor4

    Seconds First

    A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
  • horses times 2

    Horse Woes

    Two cowboy friends, Wally and Dallas, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
  • medical desk

    Doctor's Advice

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    More Incorrect

    Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had…
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    Vacation E-mails

    Major Mark Wagner is planting a church for the Salvation Army (they do good work) in the…
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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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