More Jokes

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    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    As a dental hygienist, I always encourage patients to floss. During one cleaning, the…
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    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
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    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…
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    Vacation Location

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw…
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    Let Me Feel Your Pain

    It can buy a house but not a home. It can buy a bed, but not sleep. It can buy a clock…
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    Commando Moses

    Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well,…
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    Spiritual Gifts

    During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by…
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    Mad Cow Conversation

    Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard…
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    Vicar's Surprise

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month…
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    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
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    Prison Riot

    The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like…
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    ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall…
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    Tax Colors

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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