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More Jokes

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    Don't Have Any

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
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    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
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    Stolen Goat

    The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
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    Cat Sitting

    One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Next Pastor

    Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and…
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    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
  • college Mount Union College Ohio

    Daughter In College

    Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay…
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    Boys In Hospital

    The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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