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More Jokes

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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Microsoft TV Dinner

    Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Sunday School Trap

    The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to…
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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    Think of a Number

    Think of a number.Multiply it by 3.Now add 5.Take away the number you first thought…
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    Lost Hunting

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they…
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    First Apartment

    Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As…
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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    Dinner Guests

    The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an…
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    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…
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    Kettle Rescue

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what…
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    You Need A New Car When

    You need a new car when ... - You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops…
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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…

Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller" routine is bombing, you realize you're doing a radio show.

* Your social status is one small notch above mimes and rodeo clowns.

* People are always asking, "Ooh, do you know Adam Sandler?"

* Wisenheimer's Syndrome.

* You laugh on the outside, but inside you harbor a bitter resentment toward people who have enough money for food.

* Instead of crow's feet, you get punchlines.

* You have to start the day with a couple of quick knock-knock jokes to get rid of "the shakes."

* The grandkids keep breaking your dentures trying to wind them up.

* Mom was right: your face *does* freeze that way, after a couple of decades.

* Everything tastes funny.

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