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  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Graduation Speech Notes

    When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from…
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    New Friend Sincerity

    Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to…
  • train station

    Large Party

    On one occasion William Howard Taft, in his work as an attorney, took a train to…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    "Brake Down"

    My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
  • computer-keyboard

    Computer Acronyms

    For those computer literate souls out there: ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE -…
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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office…
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    Newbie Preacher

    A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
  • compact fluorescent_bulb

    Politically Correct Light Bulb

    "How many politically-correct people does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" "Look, I…
sign fork in roadOn a California freeway:

Fine for Littering

In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:

Sid's Pants is Open

On the wall of a British Columbia cleaning service:

Able to Do the Worst Possible Job

From a septic tank cleaning service:

We're the #1 company for the #2 business!

In a New York jewelry store:

Genuine Fauz Pearls

In a Kansas City oculist's office:

Broken Lenses Duplicated Here

In a Boston fast-food parking lot:

Parking for Drive-Through Customers Only

Billboard on Florida highway:

If You Can't Read, We Can Help

On the Triborough Bridge in New York:

In Event of Air Attack Drive Off Bridge

On a Lockhart, Texas, gas station and mini-mart:

We're out of Rolaids, but we've got gas.

At the basketball court in a Gastonton, North Carolina, YMCA:

Anyone caught hanging from the rim will be suspended

On the door of an Ellsworth, Maine, restaurant:

The Indian Trading Post will be closed for Yom Kippur

In a Grand Rapids restaurant:

Half baked chicken

In a Dayton barbershop:

During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here

On a Jacksonville, Florida, bookstore:

Rare, out-of-print, and nonexistent books

On a library in Marlboro, New Hampshire, honoring Robert Frost:

Frost Free Library

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