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More Jokes

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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    Second Opinion

    A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.She…
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    Family Records

    The following was overheard at a recent high society party..."My ancestry goes all the…
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    Laws of Parenthood

    There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of ParenthoodA child's behavior…
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    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Collectable Receipts

    An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Caddy Advice

    Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy,…
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    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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