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More Jokes

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    Before And After Falling In Love

    B - You take my breath awayA - I feel like I'm suffocating B - She says she loves the way…
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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
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    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
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    Horseshoe Look

    One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
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    Bath Note

    Dear Kids,Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager:Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Cheap Perfume

    After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little…
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    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…
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    Golden Bear Answer

    A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name…
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    Bible Confusion

    The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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