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More Jokes

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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
  • sign fork in road

    Sign Fun

    On a California freeway: Fine for Littering In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst…
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    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Correction

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
  • ski fall

    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
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    Test Crash

    As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and…
  • man sleeping1

    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy (Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby) Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's…
  • pedestrian pictogram

    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
  • burger

    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    Young Patient

    A pediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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