More Jokes

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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Supporting a Family

    Jake had proposed to young Gina and was being interviewed by his prospective…
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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    County Employees

    A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break by his car…
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    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
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    There's the story about the MIT student who spent an entire summer going to Harvard…
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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Pastor Tim as the Dumb Guy

    Three men go on a trip to the desert. One is smart, one is average, and the third is…
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    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
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    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…
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    Surgeon Feedback

    Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to carve the meat -- or worse yet, to…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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