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More Jokes

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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    How To Train A Cat

    Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of…
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    How Did You Get Me?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
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    Directions

    A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out…
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    Prescription Check

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
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    Goober Release

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Lots of Kids

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
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    Sinner

    The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners…
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    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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