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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
  • golf tee

    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Golf Friendless

    "Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend."Would you play golf…
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    Office Hours

    "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think…
  • picture of rain on window

    Dark and Stormy Ride

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Nutritious Eating

    According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
  • purse red

    Purse Contents

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
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    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…
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    Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honour…
  • phone help

    Simple Support

    Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while…
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    Camping Hints

    When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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