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More Jokes

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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    New Convert Help

    He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently…
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    Anyone Home?

    A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Time Management

    The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern…
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    Collect Call

    My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.During a break, she decided to…
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    Preacher Tow

    The minister's car wouldn't start and he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Kids' Instructions for Life

    Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive,…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Latin Lesson

    "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song,…
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    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
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    Chopsticks

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
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    Let's Play House

    A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.The girl approached the boy and…
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    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

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