logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Signs Found In The Kitchen

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ...  Adjust!

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.  If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.  Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.
It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ...  just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
  • Default Image

    Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He…
  • crazy baby

    More Church Bulletin Humor

    *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline:I. Delineate your fearII. Disown your…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
  • Default Image

    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
  • Default Image

    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
  • Default Image

    Hybrid Car

    My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the…
  • Default Image

    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
  • Default Image

    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
  • Default Image

    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
  • Default Image

    No E-mail (copyrighted??)

    An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his…
  • Default Image

    Hunting Pairs

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
  • radio hand

    Helicopter Debate

    My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said helicopters were a big help…
  • woman old4

    No Stairs

    An older lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
  • Default Image

    Fair Trial

    A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,"Before I begin this trial, I…