logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

baptism*Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service*

10. The Coast Guard is involved.

9. The service is held at Splash Mountain Water Parks.

8. Pastor wears scuba gear.

7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from "Jaws."

6. The preacher uses a "Billy the Bass" singing "Take Me to the River" instead of the traditional "Shall We Gather at the River?"

5. You keep hearing the pastor saying, "Oops! Honestly, sister; I didn't know about that drop-off!"

4. The pastor can't get the rather large person being baptized back up out of the water and calls for help.

3. The deacon board shows up with fishing gear.

2. Just as the choir starts to sing, Paul Hogan jumps out of the water and wrestles the preacher into submission.

AND THE NO. 1 SIGN YOU'RE AT A BAD BAPTISM SERVICE:

1. Two Words: Alka-Seltzer

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Picture of the Texas flag

    Texan Expressions

    For fun, try to use at least two of these in at work today. *A guide to a few of the more…
  • Default Image

    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
  • Default Image

    Carpenter Request

    While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself…
  • card

    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
  • Default Image

    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
  • Default Image

    Goobers With Shovels

    There were two guys working for the city. One would did a hole, he would dig, dig, dig,…
  • Default Image

    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
  • Default Image

    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
  • money

    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
  • Default Image

    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • Default Image

    Boat Rental

    A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost…
  • Default Image

    Pick a Hymn

    One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and…
  • Default Image

    Cool In The Desert

    Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an…
  • Default Image

    Shaving Comeback

    I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was…
  • nativity

    One Question Interview

    A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down.…