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More Jokes

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    Every Word

    A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Tree Faller

    While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a…
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    Birthday-Anniversary

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Goober Quotes

    I got some bad news today. You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes…
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    Odd News Reports

    *"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    30 Minutes To A Cleaner House

    *30 Minutes To A Cleaner House* You're getting company in 30 minutes. Your house is a…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    One Per Point

    One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Goober with a Pager

    One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company.…

You know you're getting older if:

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

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