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More Jokes

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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    The Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey:

    The Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem: 7. Man, I'm…
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    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Politcal Quotes

    "I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain…
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    Top Ten things Men Understand about Women

    1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Just smile and pass it on!
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    Physics Purpose

    One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…
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    Texas Cruise

    A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his…
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    Mommy Test

    I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the…
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    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…

You know you're getting older if:

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

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