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More Jokes

  • Dog New Year's Resolutions

    Your Dog's New Year's Resolutions

    I will not bark each time I see or hear a dog on TV. I will not steal underwear belonging…
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    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
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    First Day

    Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had…
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    Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…
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    The Truth About Tools

    The Truth about Tools HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Birthday Greetings

    Seen on a birthday card.Forget about the past, You can't change it.Forget about the…
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    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
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    Golf Deduction

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Lawyer News

    "I have good news and bad news," the defence attorney told his client. "First the bad…
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    When One Shows Up

    A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there.…
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    Pastor Comeback

    A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have…
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    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…

You know you're getting older if:

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

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