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More Jokes

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    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…
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    Shopping Plan

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Making Up For Lost Time

    An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather…
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    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
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    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    Mom Wonder

    A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. She said, "We used…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Sugar Packets Announcement

    The Building Committee has been informed that opened sugar packets are being found in the…
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    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
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    Sermon Feedback

    They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this…
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    Dinner Guests

    The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…

You know you're getting older if:

1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

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