Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:
Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.
Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.
Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.
Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.
His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."
Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.
Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.
Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.
Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.
According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.
Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."
Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.