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More Jokes

  • picture of priest

    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…
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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
  • teapot

    Tea For Two

    Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed…
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    Gladys Pun

    There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on…
  • picture of dad and son

    Dad's Pay Check

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My…
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    Sleeping Leg

    A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her…
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    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Dear Marty

    Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter.…
  • a picture of home

    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
  • newspaper

    From British Newspapers

    1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman…
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    Signs The Car You Bought Is A Lemon

    1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and…
  • airport security

    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…

Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:

Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.

Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.

His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.

Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.

Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.

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