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More Jokes

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    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
  • child happy

    Children's Attempts at Hymns

    *Children's Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns* Sometimes kids get things a…
  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Cake Question

    While working at Baskin-Robbins, I helped a woman, who was full of questions about the…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
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    The Law of Parenthood

    There is the Law of Gravity - and then, there is the Law of Parenthood- A child's…
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    Truck-Stop Harassment

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.…
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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
  • bride and groom

    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
  • car old

    You Need A New Car When

    You need a new car when ... - You pull over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops…
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    Name The Twins

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Y2K Backup System

    While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our…

Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:

Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.

Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.

His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.

Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.

Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.

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