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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
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    Inspector Mom

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq?…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
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    Towel Misunderstanding

    One day a child at my four-year-old's Sunday school class told her classmates that she…
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    New Diet

    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes…
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    Confession

    A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of…
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    Curbing Church Growth

    25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
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    Valedictorian

    At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at…
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    Forgetfulness

    While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old…

Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:

Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.

Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.

His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.

Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.

Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.

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