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More Jokes

  • phone help

    Phone Calls

    Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm…
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    Window Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a man…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
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    Family Records

    The following was overheard at a recent high society party..."My ancestry goes all the…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Mummy Heart Failure

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Nesting Birds

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Trip Tickets

    Mr. and Mrs. Frobisher had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Soup Objects

    The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It…

Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:

Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.

Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.

His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.

Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.

Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.

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