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More Jokes

  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    Virus Warning!

    WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO…
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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    Dog Breeding Made Absurd

    ~ Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet ~ Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye…
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    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Home Early

    Little Dewey burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised, his mother…
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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
1.  You wake up at 3 a.m.  to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem ....and you succeed.
10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
12.  You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14.  Your cat has its own home page.
15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16.  You check your mail.  It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20.  You tell the cab driver you live at "
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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