logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Signs of E-Mail Addiction

1.  You wake up at 3 a.m.  to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem ....and you succeed.
10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
12.  You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14.  Your cat has its own home page.
15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16.  You check your mail.  It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20.  You tell the cab driver you live at "
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
  • Default Image

    Goober Counsellor

    A goober began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One…
  • Default Image

    Movie Breakout

    A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked him if he…
  • car fast

    Crossing the Road

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
  • military inspection

    Three Rules

    One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, South Carolina,…
  • Default Image

    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
  • Default Image

    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
  • list

    Take Out for Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
  • Default Image

    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
  • Default Image

    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
  • Default Image

    Happy Birthday Call

    A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then…
  • Default Image

    Empty Nest Craft

    I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty-nester. One night I was trying out an art…
  • Default Image

    Medical Opinions

    A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them…
  • Default Image

    Today I didn't Do It

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three…
  • Default Image

    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…