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More Jokes

  • Map of the USA

    Know Your States

    The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
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    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    The Upper Hand

    A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation…
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    Dining Out

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith…
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    Martha's Way Vs My Way

    Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…
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    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
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    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
  • snowman

    Learning From Snowmen

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " It's okay if you're a…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    "Dilbert Quote" Contest

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to…
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    Letter From Home

    I had an extended tour of duty in Okinawa in 1958 and was unable to bring my wife and…
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    If Airlines Sold Paint

    *If Airlines Sold Paint*Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all…
1.  You wake up at 3 a.m.  to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem ....and you succeed.
10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
12.  You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14.  Your cat has its own home page.
15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16.  You check your mail.  It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20.  You tell the cab driver you live at "
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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