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More Jokes

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    Getting Older Lines

    Now that I'm older....here's what I've discovered: I STARTED out with nothing....I still…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…
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    Things Mom Doesn't Want To Hear

    "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"1. I swallowed the goldfish.2. Your…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Untouched for 600 Years

    A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This…
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    New Medical Technology

    A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several…
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    A Dog's Diary

    5:30am: Started the day as a hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway…
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    Free Paper

    My dry cleaner very generously gives each customer a free copy of the daily newspaper. As…
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    Yale Educated

    The bank manager noticed the new clerk was an goober at counting money and adding up…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Application To Date My Daughter

    NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unlessaccompanied by a complete…
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    Battle Of The Dogs

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
1.  You wake up at 3 a.m.  to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem ....and you succeed.
10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
12.  You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14.  Your cat has its own home page.
15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16.  You check your mail.  It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20.  You tell the cab driver you live at "
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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