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    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
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    Appendix Worry

    Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was…
  • flower geranium

    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
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    Special Message

    "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Shoebox Dolls

    A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They…
  • child sad

    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Dog Weather

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.If the dog is at the door…
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    Things Learned From Children

    Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding): * There is no such thing as…
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    At Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    High Tech Flying

    The passengers on the jetliner were relaxing in their seats for the long flight. The…
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    Reading Glasses

    I took my 5 year old grandson to the optometrist to pick up his new glasses. The glasses…
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    If Bill Gates Owned a Restaurant

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the…
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    Windshield Wiper Quit

    Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right -- the driver's side. This…
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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
1.  You wake up at 3 a.m.  to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3.  You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4.  You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
5.  You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
6.  You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7.  You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
8.  You start using smileys in your snail mail.
9.  Your hard drive crashes.  You haven't logged in for two hours.  You start to twitch.  You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.  You try to hum to communicate with the modem ....and you succeed.
10.  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
12.  You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."
13.  All of your friends have an @ in their names.
14.  Your cat has its own home page.
15.  You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
16.  You check your mail.  It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
17.  Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
18.  You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
19.  You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
20.  You tell the cab driver you live at "
http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html"
21.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
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