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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Beauty Cosmetics

    Todd's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years…
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    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Tired and Thirsty

    Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking,…
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    Dog House Rules Progression

    1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built…
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    Surgery Plan

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    Circle Stand

    Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The…
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    Reversal of Fortune

    Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you…
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    Cruise Questions

    Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship - Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the…
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    Warning Labels

    Warning Labels!7 Up:Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other…
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    Checking In

    Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant…
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    Soup Objects

    The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…

Signs of our TimeIn a veterinarian's office:
"All unattended children given free kitten"

In the parking lot outside a veterinarian's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."

On the fence of someone's home:
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully; we'll wait."

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