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More Jokes

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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Resurrection Update

    A singing group call "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church.Everyone was…
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    Impressive Dinner

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    The Foot Rule

    There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "Foot…
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    Speeding Stories

    *PULLED OVER* "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the…
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    Gators!

    While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim,…
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    Bicycle Accidents

    In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very…
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    Pessimistic Friend

    An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found…
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    Cross Country Move

    When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our…
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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
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    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…

Signs of our TimeIn a veterinarian's office:
"All unattended children given free kitten"

In the parking lot outside a veterinarian's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."

On the fence of someone's home:
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully; we'll wait."

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