In the parking lot outside a veterinarian's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."
In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."
On the fence of someone's home:
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully; we'll wait."