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    Watermelon Mistake

    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Texas Vacation

    A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a…
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    Conch Sale

    In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light in a conch shell I found on…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Low Watt Stories

    True Stories, by David Smith I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu and saw that you…
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    Military Time

    My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she…
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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
  • students

    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Nutritious Eating

    According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't…
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    Art Interpretation

    Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.One is a…

Signs of our TimeIn a veterinarian's office:
"All unattended children given free kitten"

In the parking lot outside a veterinarian's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."

On the fence of someone's home:
"Salesmen welcome - dog food is expensive."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully; we'll wait."

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