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    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out,…
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    Train Candy Bar

    Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy's…
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    Missed Call

    My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One…
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    Vacation Location

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw…
  • computer keyboard

    Long Passwords

    My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on…
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    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
  • horse snow

    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
  • police pull over

    Pull Over Cookies

    Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Lost Baggage

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage…
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    Arm Injury

    The brilliant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…
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    ESP Banking

    Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he…
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    Salesman Jig

    My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…

- Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

- Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

- Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now help up by phone book.

- Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

- Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

- Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

- Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

- Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

- Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb.

- Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

- Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

- Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

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