More Jokes

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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    School Days

    Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to…
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    Last One

    A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her…
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    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
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    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…
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    Self-Evident Truths About Pets

    *Self-Evident Truths About Pets** Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they…
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    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
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    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Mellowing Mom

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers.One night I was chatting with my Mom…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
  • Mount Union College Ohio

    Medieval History

    My friend, an American history professor at Mount Union College in Ohio, was asked to…
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    Escaped Puppy

    I live across the street from a church. When my wife's puppy escaped from the back yard…
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    Office Hours

    "So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think…

- Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

- Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

- Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now help up by phone book.

- Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

- Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

- Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

- Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

- Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

- Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb.

- Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

- Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

- Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

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