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More Jokes

  • public speaking

    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
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    Vet Bills

    While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their…
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    Ice Cream Flavors

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
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    Fish Fight Story

    Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three…
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    Job Search Jargon

    Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long-time…
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    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
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    Worker Ants

    The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker…
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    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
  • centipede

    Centipede Snack

    A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to…
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    Strange Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the paediatrician. I was…
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    Gnashing of Teeth

    A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course,…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
  • Queen Elizabeth with Gun

    Revocation of Independence

    Remember when the US election took so long to decide back in November of 2000? Here's a…

- Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

- Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

- Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now help up by phone book.

- Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

- Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

- Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

- Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

- Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

- Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb.

- Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

- Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

- Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

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