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    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
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    Essay Woe

    CleanLaugh list member Richard Killey sent me this real life school note dilemma in…
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    Random Jokes

    Want another random joke? Simply refresh this page or click here. Want another another…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Delivery Suspicion

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Shades of Tanning

    Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    No. 5 Bus

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…
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    Good News Dewey

    Olga phoned her husband, Dewey, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Dewey, "but…
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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    Gender Request

    After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery…
1.  You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2.  You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
3.  You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
4.  You drink pop, not soda.
5.  This doesn't bother you at all.
6.  You know what it means to be on pogey.
7.  You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
8.  You don't care about the fuss with Cuba.
9.  You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
10.  Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
11.  You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
12.  You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
13.  You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
14.  Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
15.  You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
16.  You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
17.  You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
18.  You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
19.  You are excited whenever an American television station mentions Canada.
20.  You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink..."
21.  You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
22.  You know what a toque is.
23.  You admit Rich Little is Canadian.
24.  You know Toronto is not a province.
25.  You never miss "Coach's Corner".
26.  You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"
27.  You know who Ernie Coombs was.
28.  You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast!"
29.  You get into arguments over how the letter "z" is pronounced.
30.  You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your butt).
The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger patty with fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.
31.  You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.
32.  Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
33.  You have been on Speaker's Corner.
34.  You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
35.  You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.
36.  You wonder idly if there is some government cover up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.
37.  You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.
38.  You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.
39.  You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.
40.  The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
41.  You know 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
42.  You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
43.  You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"
44.  You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Canadian friends.
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