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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
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    I Just Can't Drive Today

    For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled…
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    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Goober Pilots

    Two Goobers (pilots) are trying to land an airplane. They start descending and as they…
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    Office Culture

    The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd…
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    You Know You're in Trouble When

    You know you'rein trouble when ... Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked…
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    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
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    Rifle Tech Support

    It was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military…
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    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    Cheap Perfume

    After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
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    Useful Work Phrases

    1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. I like…
1.  You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2.  You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
3.  You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
4.  You drink pop, not soda.
5.  This doesn't bother you at all.
6.  You know what it means to be on pogey.
7.  You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
8.  You don't care about the fuss with Cuba.
9.  You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
10.  Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
11.  You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
12.  You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
13.  You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
14.  Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
15.  You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
16.  You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
17.  You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
18.  You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
19.  You are excited whenever an American television station mentions Canada.
20.  You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink..."
21.  You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
22.  You know what a toque is.
23.  You admit Rich Little is Canadian.
24.  You know Toronto is not a province.
25.  You never miss "Coach's Corner".
26.  You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"
27.  You know who Ernie Coombs was.
28.  You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast!"
29.  You get into arguments over how the letter "z" is pronounced.
30.  You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your butt).
The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger patty with fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.
31.  You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.
32.  Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
33.  You have been on Speaker's Corner.
34.  You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
35.  You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.
36.  You wonder idly if there is some government cover up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.
37.  You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.
38.  You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.
39.  You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.
40.  The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
41.  You know 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
42.  You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
43.  You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"
44.  You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Canadian friends.
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