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More Jokes

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    Today I didn't Do It

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three…
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    Before And After Falling In Love

    B - You take my breath awayA - I feel like I'm suffocating B - She says she loves the way…
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    Bike Training

    Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late…
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    Some Great Malapropisms...

    "I don't want anybody stepping on anyone else's thunder.""You can't pull the sheep over…
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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Bilingual Parrot

    This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Bakery Robbery

    My cousin was behind the bakery's cash register one morning when a gunman burst in and…
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    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Cool In The Desert

    Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
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    Goober Stewardess

    An airline captain was breaking in a new goober stewardess. The route they were flying…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…

1.  As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.

2.  You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a direct line to Moes's Towing Company.

3.  The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.

4.  The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.

5.  The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.

6.  You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.

7.  As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.

8.  When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway.  As you go by, it silently falls in behind you.

9.  The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the dashboard comes on and reads "Me Again."

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