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More Jokes

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    Golf Questions

    Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.Nadine: TELL me about it!…
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    Record Store

    A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Pink Humvees

    Our division had to repaint our Humvees to a sand color for Desert Storm. The result was…
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    The Confused Goober

    The confused goober: 1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. 2.…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus.…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Proposal Reaction

    A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Trapper's Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…
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    Bat Delivery

    As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment…
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    Pilot Humor

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…
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    Toucan Yell

    Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…

1.  As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.

2.  You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free" has a direct line to Moes's Towing Company.

3.  The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.

4.  The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.

5.  The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.

6.  You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.

7.  As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.

8.  When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway.  As you go by, it silently falls in behind you.

9.  The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the dashboard comes on and reads "Me Again."

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