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  • doctor4

    Second Opinion

    A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattled…
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    Rose Plague

    An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
  • mouse

    Church Mice Problem

    Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first pastor said, "Ya know,…
  • burger

    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Even More Musings

    1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 2. One nice thing about egotists: They…
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    104 Year Best

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing…
  • school house

    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
  • Race horses talking in the stable

    Race Horses in a Stable

    Some race horses are staying in a stable when one of them starts to boast about his track…
  • father's day triplets

    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
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    Baby Wrap

    Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    Surgical Tools

    To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Restaurant Line

    A well-put together, elderly gentleman left his Maserati Gran Turismo with the valet,…

Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.

Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.

The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.

Being bad is no longer cool.

You have friends who have kids.

Saturday mornings are for sleeping.

You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.

Your parents' jokes are now funny.

You have once said, 'Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?'

You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller.

You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, cuz mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.

Naps are good.

You have once deemed Space Invaders as 'The best game ever'.

When things go wrong, you can't just yell, 'Do-over!'

You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.

Your idea of fun parties now include Chips 'n' Salsa and Snapple.

You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.

You WANT clothes for Christmas.

You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.

You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store, wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and then realize it is a shot of you from behind.

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