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    No E-mail (copyrighted??)

    An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his…
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    How High Can You Go?

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty…
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    Baby Prescription

    A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had…
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    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
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    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…
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    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…
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    Day Off From School

    On Monday a call came in to the school receptionist. "Hello. Please mark William absent…
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    Proud Grandmother

    An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and…
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    Tailing Truck

    A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with his girlfriend. The truck…
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    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    Grocery Pickup

    Soon after my 16-year-old sister started working after school as a grocery-store cashier,…
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    Best Guide

    I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.His party became hopelessly…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
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    Meteor Miss

    As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was…

Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.

Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.

The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.

Being bad is no longer cool.

You have friends who have kids.

Saturday mornings are for sleeping.

You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.

Your parents' jokes are now funny.

You have once said, 'Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?'

You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller.

You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, cuz mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.

Naps are good.

You have once deemed Space Invaders as 'The best game ever'.

When things go wrong, you can't just yell, 'Do-over!'

You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.

Your idea of fun parties now include Chips 'n' Salsa and Snapple.

You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.

You WANT clothes for Christmas.

You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.

You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store, wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and then realize it is a shot of you from behind.

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