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More Jokes

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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Fly Problem

    My husband is a doctor, and he received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly…
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    Who Gets the Dog?

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys,…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Theme Songs For Bible Characters

    Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus:…
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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    Old Red

    Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller's Show, announced he was 80 years old but that 80…
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    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Combination Faith

    The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the…
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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Cart Ads

    My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising…
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    Athiest Groceries

    There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Everyday, when the lady…

You are probably an elementary school teacher if:

~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.

~ You move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table.

~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.

~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.

~ You declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.

~ You ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.

~ You sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.

~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.

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