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More Jokes

  • gift

    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
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    50 Years - 5 Minutes

    On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of…
  • shopping3

    Divider Return

    I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me…
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    Signs You Are Broke

    1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course…
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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
  • hammer

    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Husband Chair Feedback

    A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies'…
  • pig

    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
  • Default Image

    A Job Worse Than Yours

    The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring…
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    Research Team

    A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the…
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    Worst Decision Yet

    A king was quite concerned about a decision he had just made, so much so that he went to…
  • Default Image

    Exam By Chance

    A young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false type…
  • teacher

    Meet Me For Lunch

    The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining…

You are probably an elementary school teacher if:

~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.

~ You move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table.

~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.

~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.

~ You declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.

~ You ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.

~ You sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.

~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.

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