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More Jokes

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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 1

    ~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one…
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    Congratulations "Good" News!

    * The parachute company says you'll get a full refund. * They say the house didn't float…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
  • A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    Lost Goober Hunters

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. My uncle Joe and…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
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    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…
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    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    Drought Conditions

    Two brothers, both farmers, were talking on the phone.One asked the other how bad the…
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    Low 80's Golf

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Dream Woman

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…

You are probably an elementary school teacher if:

~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.

~ You move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table.

~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.

~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.

~ You declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.

~ You ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.

~ You sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.

~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.

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