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    Planting Time

    A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some…
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    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…
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    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…
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    Vacation Time

    Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview…
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    Prescription Change

    An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you…
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    Successful Ice Fishing

    Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no…
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    How To Know When You Are Ready For Parenthood

    How To Know When You Are Ready For ParenthoodMESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Skinny Lumberjack

    A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a…
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    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
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    English vs Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Looking Funny

    According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money…
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    Sermon Interpretation

    One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. Her…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…

You are probably an elementary school teacher if:

~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.

~ You move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table.

~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.

~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.

~ You declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.

~ You ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.

~ You sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.

~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.

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