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  • chickens

    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
  • olive oil

    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    The Day Before

    Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles his…
  • children play

    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
  • rock

    Glacier Work

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    Computer Support Woes

    Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee: *Note the word 'former'…
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    Thrown Off Horse

    I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day, I went…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Scientist's Convention

    In the far distant future in the year 4527, a number of scientists from all over the…

1.  American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

2.  Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

3.  You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

4.  You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed an emotional bond towards Abe Lincoln.

5.  Long distance companies don't call you to switch.

6.  You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

7.  Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

8.  You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

9.  Your bologna has no first name.

10.  You give blood everyday...just for the orange juice.

11.  Sally Struthers sends you food.

12.  McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

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