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More Jokes

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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Liturgical Response

    In our Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting. The officiating clergyman…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Computer Acronyms

    For those computer literate souls out there: ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE -…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Milkman Notes

    These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing…
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    Signal Shot

    The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out…
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    Bob's Lesson

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
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    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Brain vs Brawn

    The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in…

Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon

10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!

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