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    Orchestra Note

    While a famous orchestra was on tour, the conductor found this note under his hotel room…
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    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Longevity Answer

    The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    The Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    Show and Tell

    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best…
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    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
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    What's it Take?

    "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her…
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    Long Passwords

    My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Serious Shopper

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
  • This old woman would never drink beer.

    Bottle Drive

    The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but…

Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon

10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!

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