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More Jokes

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    Van Gogh Family Tree

    After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
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    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
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    Out Of Step

    As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    Diaper Change

    "Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father. "This baby's in serious…
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    Midterm Exam

    The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of…
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    Awareness Test

    Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.…
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    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
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    Pain Explanation

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Summer Job Hunt

    My brother wants me to find him a summer job. He asked me to check with my boss, my…
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    Swanky Dining

    The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d,…
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    Lunch and Learn

    The company I work for sometimes holds "Lunch and Learn" seminars for employees during…
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    Cutting Class

    "Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose…

Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon

10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.

9. The pews have camper hookups.

8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.

7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.

6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.

5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.

4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.

3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.

2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.

And The Number One Sign You Are In For A Long Sermon

1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!

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