logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…
  • Default Image

    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
  • bush plane picture

    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
  • Default Image

    Saintly Sons

    Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He…
  • Default Image

    Kids' Instructions for Life

    Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive,…
  • phone help

    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
  • Default Image

    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
  • fishing charter

    Just Pretend

    Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband…
  • Default Image

    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
  • Default Image

    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
  • man sleeping1

    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy (Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby) Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's…
  • Default Image

    Sermon Comment

    After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying…
  • Default Image

    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
  • woman old4

    Visiting Grandma

    Grandma, who appeared to become an ever-more intimidating personality as the years went…
  • Default Image

    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…

SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN

1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

2. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"

3. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

4. You drink pop, not soda.

5. This doesn't bother you at all.

6. You know what it means to be on pogey.

7. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

8. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba.

9. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

10. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

11. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

12. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

13. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

14. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

15. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".

16. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"

17. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.

18. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

19. You are excited whenever an American television station mentions Canada.

20. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-dink..."

21. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.

22. You know what a toque is.

23. You admit Rich Little is Canadian.

24. You know Toronto is not a province.

25. You never miss "Coach's Corner".

26. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"

27. You know who Ernie Coombs is.

28. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast!"

29. You get into arguments over how the letter "z" is pronounced.

30. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your butt).

The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger patty with fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.

31. You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.

32. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.

33. You have been on Speaker's Corner.

34. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

35. You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.

36. You wonder idly if there is some government cover up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.

37. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.

38. You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.

39. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.

40. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

41. You know 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

42. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

43. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada"

44. You actually get these jokes and forward them to your Canadian friends.

Powered By JFBConnect