logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Signs You Need A New Lawyer

1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
  • Default Image

    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
  • magnify

    Watergate Bug

    A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. The new bride is concerned and asked, "What…
  • Default Image

    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
  • showerhead

    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
  • Default Image

    Happy Anniversary

    The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw…
  • couple old

    When Aging Reality Sets In

    1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start…
  • Default Image

    Epitaph Adjustment

    A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she…
  • Default Image

    The Patch

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his…
  • Default Image

    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
  • Default Image

    Empty Nest Craft

    I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty-nester. One night I was trying out an art…
  • Default Image

    Fate

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
  • sign fork in road

    Sign Fun

    On a California freeway: Fine for Littering In the window of an Atlanta clothing store:…
  • Default Image

    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…
  • Default Image

    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…