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More Jokes

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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
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    Morning People

    I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake."Hi!" exclaimed my peppy…
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    Addicted to Thinking

    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.…
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    Truck-Stop Harassment

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.…
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    Epitaph

    A doctor wrote about an epitaph he had seen in a local cemetery:"In memory of my father:…
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    Stray Cat Rules

    Rules for Stray Cats 1. Stray cats will not be fed. 2. Stray cats will not be fed…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans

    Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Sunday Service

    A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the…
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    Early

    Ok, what is the deal with "The early bird gets the worm"? He gets up early, and all he…
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    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
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    Fight Lights

    I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that…
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    Misquote

    A friend of mine attended a Christian college where the tradition was to deliver a box of…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
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