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    Parachute Training

    While attending US Army's Airborne School.....The Day before our first jump, the…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
  • F 15 fighter jet

    Recruiting Crisis

    The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a…
  • car old

    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…
  • horse snow

    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
  • gift

    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
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    DIY Complications

    The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him…
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    Carjacking Foiled

    TRUE STORY:Carjacking Foiled:An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4…
  • woman7

    Puppy Love

    For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up…
  • cat lying down

    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    English vs Western

    My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses…
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    Who's On First - Computer Version

    *Who's On First - Computer Version*ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help…
  • house2

    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Viaduct Height

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
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