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    A Captain's Tale

    Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly-man who showed no fear in…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
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    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
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    Songs For People Over 40

    *Top 10 Songs for People Over 40* 10. Let's Get a Physical 9. Ain't No Burrito Mild…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Get Your Sister

    A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered. "May I speak to your mother?"…
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    Blessed Again

    A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the…
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    Mental Test

    A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host naturally…
1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
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