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More Jokes

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    Nature Abhors A Simile

    There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene that Special Agent Frievald…
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    Appendix Worry

    Old Jacob Johnson, raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was…
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    Hybrid Car

    My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the…
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    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
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    Church Dictionary

    From the church dictionary: AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.…
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    Old Goats

    A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Surgical Tools

    To address an emergency call a doctor came to see a rich patient at his home, who was…
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    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
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