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    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
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    Stranded on a Desert Island

    A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of…
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    Ecumenical Small Talk

    My Protestant clergy friend was speaking with a Catholic priest and wanted to make a…
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    Understanding the Signs

    Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing…
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    Convenient Robbery

    Tim and Bill were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered the lobby. Not only…
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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
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    Smoke Detector Lesson

    One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Under Five

    A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering…
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    It Pays to Read Labels

    I finally figured out why I am so "full-figured"!As I was conditioning my hair in the…
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    Senior "Favorite Things"

    There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Late For Sunday School

    A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt…
1.  During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2.  He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3.  When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4.  He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5.  During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6.  A prison guard is shaving your head.

7.  He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

8.  He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

9.  He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.  Mothra.

10.  Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

11.  The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12.  Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13.  Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
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