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Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

church people- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.

- In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.

- Personal pew licenses now sold.

- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.

- Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.

- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.

- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.

- Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon.

- Bulletin has coupon section.

- Choir members wear Dockers.

- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel.

- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate.

- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or MasterCard emblems on them.

- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC.

- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC.

- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network.

- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos.

[gbrl]- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes.

- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front.

- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo.

- Free Perrier at all baptisms.

- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL.

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