logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

church people- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.

- In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.

- Personal pew licenses now sold.

- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.

- Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.

- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.

- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.

- Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon.

- Bulletin has coupon section.

- Choir members wear Dockers.

- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel.

- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate.

- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or MasterCard emblems on them.

- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC.

- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC.

- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network.

- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos.

[gbrl]- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes.

- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front.

- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo.

- Free Perrier at all baptisms.

- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
  • Default Image

    Advertising Terms Explained

    *Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts…
  • Default Image

    Putting the Cat Out

    A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
  • tortoise

    Holding A Job

    A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a…
  • microphone

    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…
  • Default Image

    Surgeon Roast

    Harry hosted a dinner party. One of his guests was a surgeon. While deftly carving the…
  • elijah

    Karmel Recipe

    The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and…
  • Default Image

    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
  • Default Image

    Needle Manners

    While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving…
  • Default Image

    You Know You're Growing Old When...

    You know you're growing old when... ..you've come to the annoying realization that your…
  • picture of pierced ears

    Pierced Ears

    The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly…
  • Default Image

    Police Rescue

    I remember the day when a police car pulled up to Grandma's house and Grandpa got out.…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…