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    Speeding Hymns

    If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly:at 45 mph.... "God Will Take…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
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    You're Not A Monk

    A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the…
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    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
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    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
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    Pick a Hymn

    One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and…
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    Understanding the Metric System

    1 million microphones = 1 megaphone1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles2000 mockingbirds = 2…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
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    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    What is This?

    A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them,…
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    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…

church people- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.

- In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.

- Personal pew licenses now sold.

- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.

- Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.

- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.

- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.

- Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon.

- Bulletin has coupon section.

- Choir members wear Dockers.

- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel.

- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate.

- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or MasterCard emblems on them.

- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC.

- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC.

- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network.

- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos.

[gbrl]- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes.

- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front.

- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo.

- Free Perrier at all baptisms.

- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL.

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