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    Self-Evident Truths About Pets

    *Self-Evident Truths About Pets** Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they…
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    Losing New Balls

    Morris had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his…
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    Dark and Stormy Ride

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Not Going To Church

    On a Sunday morning a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    Retirement At The Inn

    Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching…
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    Library Lost and Found

    Arriving back at the dorm late one evening, my roommate explained that she had gotten…
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    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
  • parrot

    Do Not Talk To My Parrot

    Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't…
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    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
  • golf tee

    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
  • spots blue

    Eye Problems

    "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…

church people- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.

- In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.

- Personal pew licenses now sold.

- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.

- Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.

- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.

- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.

- Pastor doing subliminal product messages during sermon.

- Bulletin has coupon section.

- Choir members wear Dockers.

- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel.

- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate.

- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or MasterCard emblems on them.

- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC.

- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC.

- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network.

- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos.

[gbrl]- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes.

- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front.

- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo.

- Free Perrier at all baptisms.

- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL.

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