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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
  • laundry washing machine

    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Failing Eyesight

    An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was…
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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
  • kitchen old

    Hearing Loss

    A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
  • parrot

    Parrot Dream Fulfilled

    A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large…
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    Shopping Plan

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    One-Liners

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Nothing in the known universe…
  • new years_eve

    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
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    Goober in Snow Storm

    A goober got lost in her car in a New England snow storm. She remembered what her dad had…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
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    Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

    1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being.…
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    Politically Correct Football

    The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes…
You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."

No movie.  Don't need one.  Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
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