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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
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    Drug Shirt

    My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to…
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    Pilot Humor

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems…
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    Strange Exam Answers

    1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in…
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    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
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    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
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    Mother Tongue

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
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    Burns and Benny

    Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    Silent Monastery

    Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is…
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    Harmonica Gift

    Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said to his Uncle…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful," I said.

"It's lovely," she encouraged.

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

And she said, "Yes, you have."

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