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    Who's Your Daddy?

    While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother…
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    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Foul Suspicion

    After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went…
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    Big Date

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Busted

    He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family…
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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Pilot, Let's Go!

    With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the…
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    Animal Superbowl

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals…
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    Holiday Merger

    MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and…
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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…
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    Military Haircut

    Tiring of the same old buzz haircut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went…
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    Taxing Cinderella

    The tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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