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    Goober Horseback Riding

    A goober decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior…
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    I Hope I'm Sick

    A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often,…
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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    Buy A Verdict

    Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of…
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    Letter From Tooth Fairy

    Dear _________________ : Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Rifle Tech Support

    It was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…
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    Sinner

    The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners…
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    Battle Of The Dogs

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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