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  • boots

    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…
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    Conductor Comment Comeback

    A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy…
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    Lost, Found Changed

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest…
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    Searching For Witnesses

    The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a…
  • bride

    Give and Take

    All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They…
  • garage sale

    Yard Sale Anger

    A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said…
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    More Musings

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged…
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    Favorite Flower

    While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Service for One

    On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown…
  • hammer

    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Cruise Questions

    Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship - Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the…
  • milestone

    Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric

    If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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