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    Coffee Cool

    I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the…
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    Solid to Gas

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    Do Not Talk To My Parrot

    Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't…
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    Egg Timing

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    Top 17 Inspirational Messages Not Heard at Work

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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    Fly Swatter

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Coffee Delay

    In a rush to work one morning, I pulled up to the drive-through window at a fast-food…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    Best Guide

    I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.His party became hopelessly…
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    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Animal Race Stats

    Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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