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    Ever Riden a Honda?

    A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the…
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    Compliments to the Chef

    I have a reputation for not being a fantastic cook. One evening I worked particularly…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

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    Ask Jeeves

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    Do Not Disturb

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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Caught in the Act

    I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in…
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    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Goober Flight Lesson

    A goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all…
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    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
  • Wedding Day Truths

    From the Beginning

    My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he…
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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…
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    Bunch Of Laughs

    Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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