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    Florida Hurricane Advice

    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn…
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    Solid to Gas

    Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions…
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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Successful Ice Fishing

    Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no…
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    Tennis Take On

    A manager has to take on some sport by his doctor so he decides to play tennis. After a…
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    Fly Swatter

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly…
  • pig upclose

    Hog Mark-up

    My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    For Charlotte

    A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

    I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATUREToday at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase…
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    Mouth Surgery

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    Definition of a Bar-B-Que

    Definition of a Bar-B-QueIt's the only type of cooking a real man will do. When a man…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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