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    Lobster Tails

    A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and…
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    Kidnapped

    Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers…
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    Skinny Lumberjack

    A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a…
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    ESP Banking

    Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
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    Bulletproof

    The speaker at a bank's drive-through window had been broken for weeks, and the tellers…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Little Johnny's Bike

    Little Johnny was one of those holy terrors. His dad was surprised when Johnny's mom…
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    Millionaire's Driver

    Millionaire: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Millionaire: I always call my…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    Carpenter Request

    While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…

1.  Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

2.  Bandage left thumb.

3.  Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

4.  Bandage left foot.

5.  Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)

6.  Light Match

7.  Light Match

8.  Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

9.  Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

10.  Apply burn ointment to nose.

11.  When fire is burning, collect more wood.

12.  Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

13.  Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

14.  Relabel can to read "gasoline."

15.  When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

16.  When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

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