logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Skiing Experience

Miss the experience of skiing? Try the following to get that feeling back.

10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.

9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.

8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.

7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.

6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line.

5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in bad weather and you're following an 18 wheeler.

3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker!

2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.

1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Automobile Acronyms

    AUDIAccelerates Under Demonic InfluenceAlways Unsafe Designs Implemented BMWBeautiful…
  • Default Image

    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
  • Default Image

    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
  • Default Image

    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…
  • couple bugged

    Impressive Dinner

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
  • telephone

    Four Letter Words

    A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride…
  • boy sitting1

    Homework Help

    "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my…
  • Default Image

    More Bulletin Bloopers

    *More Bulletin Bloopers*The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
  • Default Image

    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
  • Default Image

    Bad Flight

    While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power…
  • Default Image

    Dog Report

    Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write…
  • A Picture of a stack of books

    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
  • calendar

    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
  • man resting

    Commercial Reward

    After breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at…