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    Dad Knew

    My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.He told me that he knew…
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    Another Reason Not To Drink

    This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It…
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    Without Glasses

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…
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    Totally Out of Shape

    I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
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    Honest Mechanic

    I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me…
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    Prescription

    A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor…
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    Toaster Oven

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say10) "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!"9)…

When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. 

The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."

The clerk looked at his picture closely. 

"It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

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