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    Lost Phone

    My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could…
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    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
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    Ad Woes

    A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Grocery Pickup

    Soon after my 16-year-old sister started working after school as a grocery-store cashier,…
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    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
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    Strawberry Fertilizer

    A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in…
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    Bilingual Parrot

    This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string…
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    Young Man's Disorder

    A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.…
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    Lit Match

    On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the…
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    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    39 And Holding

    A young child asked a woman how old she was. She answered, "39 and holding." The child…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Wacky Warnings

    Here are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by…

An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days."

The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

The doctor says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years."

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