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More Jokes

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    Dewey Check

    I walked into my sister's kitchen and found my nephew, Dewey, having a snack."Where's…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    One Seat Allowed

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    Card Reader

    "Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny…
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    How Hot Is It?

    How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The…
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    Meeting Invitation

    I was telling a friend about my enrollment in a weight-loss program and how excited I was…
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    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The…
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    Shopping Plan

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Leak Repair

    My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending…
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    10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

    1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on…
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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Gnashing of Teeth

    A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course,…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…

An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days."

The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

The doctor says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years."

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