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More Jokes

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    Theory Testing Contest

    *Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest* HONOURABLE MENTION: The quantity of…
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    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Gardening Help

    An old man living alone in South Armagh, whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison, didn't…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Tax Reform

    At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which…
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    DIY Complications

    The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Cure For Lateness

    Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    Hymns for Speeders

    Now, for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns for you: 45 mph.................God…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Oil on Fish

    Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One…
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    Crash Report

    As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon…

An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days."

The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

The doctor says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years."

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