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More Jokes

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    Boy or Girl

    Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Mule Solution

    A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left…
  • A funny diatribe about children and parenting

    Lamentation For Our Kids

    This is rather lengthy but funny. *Laws Pertaining to Dessert* For we judge between the…
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    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
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    Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had…
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    Knowing About Radios

    One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, Calif., we were preparing for a…
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    Dependents

    A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he…
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    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
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    2 Bad Days

    You're NOT having a bad day ... these people had bad days: 1. The average cost of…
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    How To Speak English Properly

    *How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are…
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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Ten Laws of Life

    1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.…
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    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy (Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby) Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM

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