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More Jokes

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    Valedictorian

    At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Turn Around

    A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.They thoughtfully made a…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Gift Parrot

    There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy…
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    Children's Attempts at Hymns

    *Children's Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns* Sometimes kids get things a…
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    Interview Phrases

    Phrases for you to use in a job interview - or to interpret when interviewing! Phrase:…
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    Tech Support Fun

    A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if…
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    Golfer's Tale

    A group of golfers were telling tall stories. At last came a veteran's turn. "Well," he…
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    Shoe Repair

    Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from…
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    This Town is so Small...

    This town is so small . . .- The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one…
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    Farewell Luncheon

    The staff at the office where my wife works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a…
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    Wake Up!

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the…

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM

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