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    Jar Number 47

    A new miracle doctor had just arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and…
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    Norma Findlay in Room 302

    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible…
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    Mummy Shock

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    Elementary Motherhood

    Following are answers given by elementary school-age children to the given questions: Why…
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    Dining In

    My husband and I both work, so our family eats out a lot.Recently, when we were having a…
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    Natural Antibiotic

    While serving as associate pastor in a church in the California gold country, I had an…
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    Inventions That Didn't Succeed

    The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine…
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    Brother Review

    Arriving for a visit, a woman asked her small grand daughter, "How do you like your new…
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    Lost Hunting

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they…
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    Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
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    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM

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