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More Jokes

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    Left Behind

    "You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you're…
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    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…
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    New Recruit

    As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had…
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    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Bag of Chickens

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    $100.00 Please

    A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.…
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    Summer Camp

    A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer…
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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
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    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Calls to Information Assistance

    Just a few decades ago, before the days of Google and online information, people would…
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    Prescription

    A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…

"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA

"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO

"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER

"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH

"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY

"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM

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