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    A Primer For Accordion Beginners

    Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same.Do not tell…
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    Vacation Location

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw…
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    Career Choice

    A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Letter From Home

    I had an extended tour of duty in Okinawa in 1958 and was unable to bring my wife and…
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    Trouble At The Zoo

    Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at…
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    Tongue and Eggs

    A fellow went into a restaurant and asked, 'What's the special of the day?' The waiter…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Out of Gas Options

    The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to…
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    Turn Around

    A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.They thoughtfully made a…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
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    Subway Drop

    The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most…
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    Three Expectant Fathers

    Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room. The nurse came out of the delivery room…
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    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…

book ideaEGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

MAGAZINE: bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA: when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: a French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

TATTOO: permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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