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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Martha's Way Vs My Way

    Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent…
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    Plane Seat

    It was Judi's first plane trip.Boarding the aircraft she settled into a window seat in…
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    The Internet Pledge

    Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Something For Mom

    The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old…
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    Allergy Medicine

    During a revival, the visiting evangelist arrived without his allergy medicine. Our…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 2

    Computer One-liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt…
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    Vet Bills

    While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their…
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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…

book ideaEGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

MAGAZINE: bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA: when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: a French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

TATTOO: permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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