More Jokes

  • a toy car

    Toy Disclaimers

    Honest Toy Disclaimers * No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
  • baby feet

    Tiny Rose

    A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife. They had always dreamed of having a…
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    Dr. Dress

    During my surgical residency I was called out of a sound sleep to the emergency room.…
  • businessman blamed for long speech

    20 Minutes of Eternity

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his…
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    Pick of the Crop

    A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll…
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    Strange Exam Answers

    1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in…
  • circus

    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Pole Power

    I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company…
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    Camping Hints

    When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the…
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    Restaurant Service

    The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a…
  • dog lazy

    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Inventions That Didn't Succeed

    The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine…

book ideaEGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

MAGAZINE: bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA: when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: a French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

TATTOO: permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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