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More Jokes

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    Travel Agent Stories

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents :1. I had someone ask for an…
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    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.

    Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

    1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an…
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    Efficient Breakfast

    The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to…
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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
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    Goober in Snow Storm

    A goober got lost in her car in a New England snow storm. She remembered what her dad had…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
  • burns and benny

    Burns and Benny

    Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their…
  • parachute 82nd Airborne

    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
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    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
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    Memory School

    Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have done for the…
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    Dog House Rules Progression

    1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built…

book ideaEGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

MAGAZINE: bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA: when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: a French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

PIONEER: early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE: some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL: a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL: the ability to eat only one peanut.

TATTOO: permanent proof of temporary insanity.

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