logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • puppies

    How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

    *How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?* Golden Retriever: The sun is…
  • Default Image

    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…
  • Default Image

    Little Johnny's Bike

    Little Johnny was one of those holy terrors. His dad was surprised when Johnny's mom…
  • Default Image

    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
  • Default Image

    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
  • Default Image

    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
  • Default Image

    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
  • Default Image

    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
  • Default Image

    Muffled Workers

    Winters are fierce where he lives, so the owner of the estate felt He was doing a good…
  • picture of project documents

    Dictionary of Project Terms

    *Dictionary of Project Terms* Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen…
  • picture of a waitress

    Lingering Hug

    We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight…
  • Default Image

    Driving Around

    I tell you, men drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on Highway…
  • donut

    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
  • Default Image

    Parking Confusion

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
  • taxi-zone-sign

    Taxi Grad

    A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his…

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.

A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition.

A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained.

A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."

An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."

"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now."

One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"

Powered By JFBConnect