logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Diary Secrets

    A little boy asked his mother, "What's that you're reading?"A diary.What's in it?I can't…
  • Default Image

    Confession

    A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of…
  • Default Image

    Creative Duelling

    In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor…
  • Default Image

    Garage Wow

    There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his…
  • Default Image

    Pessimistic Friend

    An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found…
  • Default Image

    Parting Words

    A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church…
  • Default Image

    Loudest Band

    For two years I managed a group of musicians who proudly labeled themselves "the loudest…
  • Default Image

    Lariat Training

    More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to…
  • Default Image

    Soft Seven

    A young man is paired up with a priest on the first hole at the golf course. When they…
  • baptism

    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
  • Default Image

    Help Line

    It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.------Customer: "I've been…
  • Default Image

    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
  • Default Image

    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
  • Default Image

    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
  • Default Image

    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…

Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.

A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a advanced state of decomposition.

A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the bumper-to-bumper traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He jumped out of the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a cigarette on his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained.

A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My wife is ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."

An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."

"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now."

One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"

Powered By JFBConnect