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    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer*

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  • river

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    Muddy General

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    ESP Banking

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    Vacation Offer

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An elderly man was standing in front of the ticket office in Grand Central Station. A picture of utter helplessness, it was clear something was horribly wrong with him. He stood with his elbows pressed closely at his side. His forearms were rigidly extended before him and his palms were turned towards each other about ten inches apart. Apparently, the man was paralyzed.

A young woman approached him. "Can I do anything to help you?" she asked.

"Oh, thank you. Please put your hand in my coat pocket and take out money to buy me a ticket to Philadelphia."

The woman complied. She bought the ticket and accompanied the crippled man on the train, to make sure he was settled before leaving him.

"I hope you have a complete recovery. Are you visiting an out of town specialist?"

"A specialist," replied the cripple. "Why should I go to a specialist?"

"To treat you for the trouble with your hands."

"But, I have no trouble with my hands."

"Of course you have trouble with your hands. Why, you couldn't even reach into your pocket to get the money to buy your ticket."

"Oh, you're wondering why my hands are like this. My wife asked me that when I go to Philadelphia to buy her a pairs of shoes. This is her size."

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