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    Seatbelt Support

    I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. She asked, "Do I…
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    Key West Tourists

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    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…
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    Actual Medical Records

    The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    Some Great Malapropisms...

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    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
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    Ladies' Tee

    It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine,…
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    VIP Impression

    My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Death Statistic

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…

Back in the good old days of steam engines, a goober who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend.  He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.

While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears the whistle, "Whooee da Whoee!" but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit -- but only a glancing blow -- and is thrown, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening.

While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling.  He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.

His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened, and asks the man from the desert, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small!"

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