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    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…
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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
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    Three Expectant Fathers

    Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room. The nurse came out of the delivery room…
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    Patient Problem

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    Kettle Rescue

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
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    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
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    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be…
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    Amateur Paleontologist

    Paleoanthropology Division Smithsonian Institute 207 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC…
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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    20 Minutes of Eternity

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention so he asked one of his…
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    Surgery Plan

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.

Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.

"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."

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