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More Jokes

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    Swahili Gasp

    A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger…
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    Vet's Guarantee

    There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working…
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    Dignified Exit

    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed…
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    Kids' Letters to the President

    Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
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    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
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    Help Desk

    A man who worked the help desk for a large company received a call one day from a…
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    Medically Speaking

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    Seen This?

    I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing…
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    Rejection Rejection

    Have you ever had a resume rejected? Don't ever let it happen again. The next time that…
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    Talking Clock

    While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care

    *Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care*Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is…
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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…
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    Toucan Yell

    Driving along an outback road in Australia, I spied an exotic bird flying overhead. The…

*Strange 911 Calls*

A call came into 911 Emergency because two couples were going to share a hotel room and there weren't enough towels.

A man called 911 and said: "Please connect me to Switzerland."

A lady called 911 because of a fight going on in a parking lot. When asked to describe the combatants, she said: "I'll try. There's one man, and he's dressed like Elvis. He's kicking another man who's laying on the ground and screaming 'You Ain't nothing but a hound dog.'"

Another person called to report he had the hiccups.

A thirteen-year-old boy called to report he had "stuff" coming from his navel. Paramedics examined the boy and all they found was belly-button lint.

A male complainant called and requested police call gas stations on all exits of I-95 to find out which ones were open.

A woman called emergency to report she had seen a wild mouse in her house.

Someone called 911 to report the parrot got out of his cage and is in a tree outside.

A man broke up with his girlfriend and wanted police to go by her house and report to him the owners of any cars, other than hers, in her driveway.

A man called to report he had a roach stuck in his ear.

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