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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
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    Gators!

    While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim,…
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    Raffle Toy

    Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have…
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    New Boater

    This past summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
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    Computerized Airline

    The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without…
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    Hearing Loss

    A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Nature Abhors A Simile

    There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene that Special Agent Frievald…
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    Bank Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…

I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

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