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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Knitting Chinese

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Next Question

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    John Will Be Fine

    The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    Dog Meters

    Two dogs out and about, walk over to a parking meter.One says to the other, "How do you…
  • old lady

    AAADD

    They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition. Hooray!! I have recently been…
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    Play-Off Tickets

    A man goes to the Chicago Bear ticket office and inquires about purchasing play-off…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Five Kinds of Fruit

    In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it. They…
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    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Logic Amongst the Sciences

    A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people…

I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

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