logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Stray Cat Rules

Rules for Stray Cats

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5.  Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6.  Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7.  Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.  Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11.  Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12.  Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13.  Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17.  Stray cats will sleep outside.

18.  Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19.  Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20.  Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21.  Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26.  Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27.  Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28.  Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
  • Default Image

    The Littlest Informant

    As a recently divorced police officer, and new to the dating scene, I was thrilled but…
  • Default Image

    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
  • Default Image

    Time Off

    Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said…
  • Default Image

    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
  • Default Image

    Company Motivation Posters

    *Company Motivation Posters You Will Never See*1) If you do a good job and work hard, you…
  • Default Image

    Things Dogs Should Try to Remember

    Things dogs should try to remember: The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff even…
  • Default Image

    Pants

    Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was.…
  • Default Image

    Cheap Hearing Aid

    A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much…
  • Default Image

    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
  • Default Image

    Inspiring Music

    A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to…
  • Default Image

    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
  • Default Image

    Salesman Stop By

    One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie…
  • Default Image

    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
  • Default Image

    Bank Line

    With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was standing in was moving very…