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More Jokes

  • deer hunting jokes

    Deer Hunting

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job.After a visit to…
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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
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    Geese V

    Q: Why is one side of the V geese make always shorter than the other? ........... A:…
  • thermos

    Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober walks up…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Bank Enunciation

    Fresh from a visit to the dentist, I decided to stop at my bank. Barely able to…
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    Sermon Comment

    After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying…
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    Geneology Question

    When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher…
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    Employment History

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    Flashlight Defense

    A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an…
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    Calf Birth

    A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing…
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    Smoke Detector Lesson

    One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our…
Rules for Stray Cats

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5.  Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6.  Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7.  Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.  Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11.  Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12.  Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13.  Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17.  Stray cats will sleep outside.

18.  Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19.  Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20.  Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21.  Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26.  Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27.  Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28.  Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.
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