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More Jokes

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    Come About

    A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a…
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    Department Baseball

    An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff…
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    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
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    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Melanie is Watching

    One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by…
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    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
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    Kid Wisdom

    When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.Never tell your Mom…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Call For A Ride

    Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
Rules for Stray Cats

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5.  Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6.  Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7.  Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.  Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11.  Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12.  Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13.  Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17.  Stray cats will sleep outside.

18.  Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19.  Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20.  Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21.  Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26.  Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27.  Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28.  Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.
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