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More Jokes

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    Foul Suspicion

    After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Too Late To Date

    After the death of a never married 94-year old spinster of his parish, the rector was…
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    Australia Q & A

    These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website: the answers…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…
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    No Rest

    The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and…
  • picture of a car crash

    More Insurance Claims

    "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "I pulled…
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    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
  • chickens

    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Concert Lights

    My 14-year-old daughter, Maggie, and her best friend, Joannie are fans of 60's music.…
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    Vacation Cut

    Before going on vacation, I decided on the spur of the moment to have my very long,…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    Matchmaker

    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
Rules for Stray Cats

1.  Stray cats will not be fed.

2.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4.  Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5.  Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6.  Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7.  Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8.  Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain times.

10.  Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days ending in "y".

11.  Stray cats allowed inside, will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12.  Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13.  Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen claws on new .99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16.  Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17.  Stray cats will sleep outside.

18.  Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19.  Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20.  Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21.  Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25.  Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers, except at the foot.

26.  Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27.  Stray cats will not play on the desk, near the computer.

28.  Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hb USING IT.
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