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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
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    Toaster Request

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    Computer Repair

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    Pick of the Crop

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    New Apartment

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    Moving Label

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    Morning Kiss

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    How To Lose Your First Case

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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
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    Grandma and Computer

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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    New Light Switch

    My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in the master…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…

A list of 17 points to ponder about life.1.  Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
     But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

2.  Have you ever noticed?  Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

3.  You have to stay in shape.  My friend's grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.  She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

4.  I'm not into working out.  My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

5.  The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

6.  I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

7.  Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

8.  I voted for the Republicans because I didn't like the way the Democrats were running.  Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.

9.  I have six locks on my door all in a row.  When I go out, I lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

10.  Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

11.  I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use Language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

12.  The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

13.  Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there.  I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

14.  I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls.  They always say because it's such a beautiful animal.  There you go.
I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.

15.  A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.  "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket"?
she sneered.  I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses.  Now I'll have to kill you too."

16.  I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

17.  Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?  I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, "Oh no ..I could be eating a slow learner."

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