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    Reindeer Gender

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer…
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    Prison Joke Book

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    Computer One-liners - Part 1

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    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…
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    Mouse Repellant

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    In Need of Prayer

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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Tailing Truck

    A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with his girlfriend. The truck…
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    Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober walks up…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    Deep Thoughts

    From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep…
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    Engineering Dictionary

    *Engineering Dictionary*What the Engineer says (What it really means)A number of…
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    Visiting List

    A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit patients. Stopping at the…
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    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…
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    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…

A list of 17 points to ponder about life.1.  Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
     But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

2.  Have you ever noticed?  Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

3.  You have to stay in shape.  My friend's grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60.  She's 97 today and we don't know where she is.

4.  I'm not into working out.  My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

5.  The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

6.  I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

7.  Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

8.  I voted for the Republicans because I didn't like the way the Democrats were running.  Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.

9.  I have six locks on my door all in a row.  When I go out, I lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

10.  Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

11.  I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use Language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

12.  The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

13.  Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there.  I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

14.  I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls.  They always say because it's such a beautiful animal.  There you go.
I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.

15.  A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.  "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket"?
she sneered.  I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses.  Now I'll have to kill you too."

16.  I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

17.  Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?  I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, "Oh no ..I could be eating a slow learner."

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