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More Jokes

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    Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

    * They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of…
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    ER Reminder

    I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my…
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    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
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    Horse Talk

    "Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I…
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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    Wedding Pass

    A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an…
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    Ashes

    Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    Goober Ring

    Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Tips For The Clueless

    Some Tips for the Clueless If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by…
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    Cowboy's Guide to Life

    Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you…

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

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