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More Jokes

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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    Second Try

    The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who…
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    Little Benjamin

    Little Benjamin came running into the kitchen where is mother was working. "Mom, can I…
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    Happy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for…
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    10 Common Canine Complaints

    1. Building mounted fire hose connections are no substitute for a real hydrant. 2. "Why…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Dollar Measure

    Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to…
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    Quantum Date

    Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the…
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    Golden Bear Answer

    A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name…
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    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Swindled

    A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it.…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

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