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More Jokes

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    Waking Up

    This week a man awoke from a coma that had lasted for 62 years. His first question was,…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    Retirement Savings

    Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting…
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    Senior "Favorite Things"

    There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American…
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    Time Travel

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    Thoughts on Golfing

    A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can…
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    Do Not Disturb

    After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    Cute Baby

    When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor…
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    Burns and Benny

    Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their…
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    Memory Clinic

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the…
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    Expecting

    A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following…
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    16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate

    Some of these are a little odd but they would definitely spice up dorm life. 16 Ways To…

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

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