More Jokes

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    Help Is Nearby

    My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    The Beginning

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…
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    Kind Word

    A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his…
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    Bush Gore Debate

    For those who didn't have time to watch the presidential debate, we've prepared this…
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    Construction Noise

    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending a music festival. Just as I stopped…
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    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    Wig Eye Witness

    While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman…
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    Mrs. Hunter Jury Duty

    Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't…
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    Astronomers Declare February No Longer a Month

    Emboldened by their success in declaring Pluto not a planet, the International…
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    Business Report

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

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