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  • woman sleepy

    Sorry I'm Late

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
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    Dough Boy Drive By

    WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
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    Well Done

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…
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    Employment Search

    My employment search preoccupied our family for months. One day my husband told our three…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
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    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
  • book idea

    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
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    No Wonder English is So Hard to Learn

    No wonder English is so hard to learn. We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he…
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    Heavy Housework

    Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning…
  • milk2

    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…

weight scale 2I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon."

"Sure it does," he said.

"How else can I see the numbers?"

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